The Lincoln Imporium: An Origin Story

Every shop has a story. Ours begins with a lie the Devil told, two imps sent north to cause trouble, and a bargain struck in the shadow of Lincoln Cathedral. We have been keeping it for the better part of eight centuries, and it explains everything: who we are, why we are here, and why we have finally opened our doors to you.

Settle in. This is the story of The Lincoln Imporium, and of the Ancient Order whose work we quietly continue.

Chapter One: The Mischief Begins

Centuries ago, the Devil sent two imps north to Lincoln with a single instruction: spread chaos. The mischievous pair set their sights on the tallest building in the world at the time, Lincoln Cathedral. Once inside, they tripped the bishop, scattered the hymn sheets and prayer books, and blew out every candle in sight.

Their antics did not go unnoticed. An angel appeared and commanded the pair to stop. While one imp lost its nerve and hid behind a pew, the braver of the two threw stones at the angel. It was a poor decision. With a single wave, the angel turned the rebellious imp to stone, and there it sits to this day, high in the Angel Choir, grinning down at everyone who comes to find it. The second imp could only watch from its hiding place as its companion's fate was sealed.

Chapter Two: The Lone Imp's Bargain

With his friend frozen above the choir, the surviving imp fled the cathedral and lost himself in the streets of Lincoln. For years he wandered the hill, slipping between the cobbles and the candlelight, desperate to find a way to undo what had been done.

At last he returned to the cathedral and, with nothing left to lose, struck a bargain with the angel. If he gave up his mischief and devoted himself to capturing other imps, returning each one to where it came from, his friend might one day be freed. The angel agreed. The lone imp left with a purpose he had never had before, and a debt he fully intended to pay.

“One imp for another. It was the only bargain worth making.”

The Lone Imp

Chapter Three: The Founding of the Order

It did not take the lone imp long to realise the task was far greater than any one creature could manage. In the 15th century he found his answer not among imps, but among people. A handful of sympathetic locals, who had seen enough strange goings-on to believe him, agreed to share the work.

Together they founded the Ancient Order of Fabled Imp Catchers, sworn to seek out wild imps wherever they caused trouble and bring them safely home. The Order grew in strength and influence over the centuries that followed, tracking mischief through cities, towns and villages alike, and keeping a great deal of chaos quietly at bay.

Chapter Four: A Promise Kept

Every imp the Order caught was carried back to Lincoln and across the boundary of the sacred Cathedral Quarter. It is said that when an imp crosses that threshold, its soul returns to wherever it first came from, leaving behind nothing but a solid stone form, frozen for good.

Climb the hill with your eyes open and you will see them: small stone faces tucked into walls and doorways, each one an imp that mischief finally caught up with. Every one is a reminder of the original bargain, a promise to capture his fellow imps in exchange for the faint hope of freeing a frozen friend.

Chapter Five: The Order's Call for Help

The Order thrived for generations, but time has a way of scattering even the most devoted. Members drifted toward other pursuits. Some became inventors, others explorers, a few even poets. The Order dwindled, until only a loyal handful remained to carry the long mission forward.

Now, for the first time in its history, the Order needs you. Reports of a fresh outbreak of wild imps are arriving faster than the few remaining catchers can manage, and their numbers are growing by the week. The Lincoln Imporium, home of the Ancient Order of Fabled Imp Catchers, was opened for exactly this moment: to teach you the story of the imps, to let you choose one to rehome, and to ask you to keep a careful eye on it.

That is our story, or at least the part of it we are allowed to tell. The rest is still being written, and these days it is being written by people like you.

Every imp on our shelves has been caught, catalogued and prepared for a new home. When you take one in, you are not simply buying a figurine. You are joining the Order, continuing a promise made in the shadow of the Cathedral more than eight hundred years ago, and helping a lone imp keep faith with the friend he lost.